"Puns of fun"

Keeping things light from time to time is strongly encouraged on our sites! Here is a list of puns that a friend sent me. Hope you enjoy these “puns of fun”:

1. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep off the Grass."

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

8. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

9. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

10. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here; I'll go on a head."

11. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

12. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

13. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his Grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet."

14. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

15. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.