St John's Q&A

Friday, May 26, 2006

On the eve of Ordination

So, tomorrow, I get ordained a priest by the awesome Grace of God!! I'm sitting here at St. Francis, with the soundtrack from "The Mission" playing on my computer, trying to get all my last minute details taken care of...it's busy! We had a GREAT week of retreat that ended Thursday, and it's been crazy ever since. But, good crazy. So, I'll finish up soon, and then what?

What does a man do the night before he becomes alter Christus (another Christ) in the world? The phone which has been off the hook since yesterday is silent (phew!). My family has gone back to their homes after we got together for Adoration, discussion about what tomorrow will be all about ("it's all about Jesus" my little nieces and nephews shouted out!), and dinner. One conversation awaits. I need to go see Him shortly.

I will spend at least an hour with Christ tonight in the chapel. Might be more because I probably won't be able to sleep (last night, it didn't happen...too excited). I will be with Him to whom I will give my life fully tomorrow. Kind of makes me think about the night before He handed over his life to the Father and all of us. Tonight might be a sort of Gethsemane.

But, I will try to rest in his peace. He has drawn me to his heart, his Sacred Heart, through the Immaculate Heart of his mother. It's hard to put in words what my own heart is experiencing now, this closely united to Christ. I will be changed sacramentally and ontologically tomorrow, but he has been changing me so much over the past several years. I am not worthy to be a priest of Jesus Christ; it's only because he has formed me and shaped me to be like Him that I can go forward tomorrow.

Now, with all of the hoopla and details, I have caught myself forgetting one of the biggest moments of all after the laying on of hands (that's the point at the Ordination when I become a priest): the Consecration of the bread and wine at my first Mass. For 14 years, it's been a dream. The Dream. To make Christ present on Earth. Truly present. Through my hands. Through my words. But, they will be His hands... His words. His body...his blood. Tomorrow, the Incredible happens. All because of Him who is Incredible. Awesome. Amazing. It's all about Him. "It's all about Jesus".

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